Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
