some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
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