the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize