I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I looked at my own cervix.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
how drunk are you?
Several
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
