i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
