"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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