Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Randomize