this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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