so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize