There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
