dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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