Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
she smelled like a LAN party
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Randomize
