Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I think your dad took our porno
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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