i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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