Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
