Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
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