I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
