great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
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