Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
i drank out of a bidet.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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