I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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