nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
