ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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