My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize