Sry I called you an 8
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
