take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
