Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
