you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
