Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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