This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
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