are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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