'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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