i jhust puked up my retainher.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
