I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
