Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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