i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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