Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize