dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
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