Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
I did not marry a roomba.
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