Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Girls should come with a carfax report
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
