Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize