Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
PS: I just woke up from my shower
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
