I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
