i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
