:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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