How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
