I love black thongs
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
And then my night got REAL pukey
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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