glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
