The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize