sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
