who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
COCAINE IS GR8
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
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