We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
