is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
