goodnight i made you a song goodbye
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
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