I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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