Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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