We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
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