I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Randomize
