the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
