it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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