She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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