i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
