11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Randomize
