you traded sex for a burrito?
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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