this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Alive.
So much puke
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
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