his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
not ubering you a puppy
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
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