You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
