He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
