His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Randomize
