I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
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