He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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