Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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