Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
