READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Randomize
