I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Randomize
